P h u n n i e s
... FUCK YOU ...
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the work FUCK. It is one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, FUCK falls into may grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John FUCKed Mary) and intransitive (Mary was FUCKed by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a good FUCK) or a passive verb (Mary is really a good FUCK); or an adverb (Mary is FUCKing interested in John), and as a noun (Mary is a terrific FUCK). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is FUCKing drop dead gorgeous). As you can see, there are very few words with the versatility of FUCK.
Besides it's sexual connotations, this FUCKing incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
Greeting 'How the FUCK are you?"
Fraud "I got FUCKed by the car dealer!"
Dismay "Oh, FUCK it!"
Trouble "Well, I guess I'm FUCKed now."
Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
Disgust "FUCK me!"
Confusion "What the FUCK ...?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this FUCKing bussines."
Depair "FUCKed again"
Incompetence "He FUCKed up everything."
Displeasure "What the FUCK is going on here?"
Lost "Where the FUCK are we?"
Retaliation "Up your FUCKing ass!!"
It can be...
used in anatomical description - "He's a FUCKing asshole!"
used to tell time - "It's five FUCKing thirty."
used in business - "How did I wind up with this FUCKing job?"
maternal - "Mother FUCKer!"
political - "FUCK Clinton"
And never forget famous people using the word:
General Custer - "Where did all them FUCKing Indians come from?"
Mayor of Hiroshima - "What the FUCK was that?"
Captain of the Titanic - "Where is all this FUCKing water coming from?"
The 2 Live Crew - "A FUCK is a FUCK!"
The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say FUCK? Use it frequently in your daily speech:
"It will add to your prestige."
Today ... say to someone ...
The Ghost Shit - The kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit one the toilet paper but there is no shit in the toilet.
The Clean Shit - The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit - The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a brown stain.
The Second Wave Shit - It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemmorhage Through Your Nose Shit - The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a strectch mark
Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Shit - SEE ABOVE
The Iceberg Shit - The kind where you shit is so long that the end of it sticks out of the toilet water.
The Richard Simmons Shit - The kind where you shit so much that you lose 30 pounds.
The Corn Shit - Self-explanatory
The Lincoln Log Shit - The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.
The Drinker's Shit - The kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread marks left on the bottom of the toilet.
The Gee, I Wish I Could Shit, Shit - The kind where you want to shit, but all you do is shit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.
The Spinal Tap Shit - The kind where it hurts so much coming out you swear it was leaving you sideways.
The Wet Cheeks or the Power Dump - The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Quio Shit - the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time chronically burning your tender anus.
The Mexican Food Shit - A shit class all it's own.
The Ottoman Shit - The kind where the odor of the mass creeps out of the restroom and throughout the building to make the entire building sick or near evacuation. NOTE: This has been reported in several bowling alleys in the past few years especially.
...What if Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?...
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And he bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
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